Reasons Why Jordan Fox and Hudson Kennedy Should Be on G-2, and a Treatise on Justin Morgan
I have to say, I was rather disappointed with my placement on the Galaxy roster this year. A lot of guys got moved down a team, but I was moved down 4 teams. From hero to zero. From my level of awesomeness to Taylor’s level of awesomeness. I genuinely thought I have proved myself on the field of battle last year. I picked up the tee like a champ. I kept Seth’s mind right. I even tried to get Fat Bynum to show up. My efforts have proved worthless. However, my disappoint in my own placement is nothing compared to disgustingly denigrating act of placing Jordan Ray Fox and Hudson Kennedy on G-3. It is in defense of their honor and supernatural abilities upon the football field that I write this article.
Jordan Fox was born in Russia in 1974. Hence his Russian name and proclivity to hairy females with bad teeth. It was during the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant accident of the 1980’s that Jordan discovered a talent that would lead him to success across the would be grid-iron. (Aside: I’ve never understood why exactly a football field is called a grid iron. When I think grid iron, I think of the griddle my mother used to cook breakfast. Breakfast consists of eggs, bacon, pancakes, and Tim. So, when I think of the Grid Iron, I think of Tim running naked around a hot griddle chasing after a particularly elusive piece of bacon. As far as I know, despite the fact that this scenario requires a serious amount of determination and athleticism, this is not football. I therefore advocate a change in football terminology. Email with your comments and financial pledges of support). The nuclear accident and the nuclear fluid that covered Jordan’s body head to toe caused Jordan to become a rather uncoordinated and unintimidating, but nevertheless, white rapper. I just don’t know how you turn that down. At least for diversity’s sake you should at least put someone on the team that’s close to being a minority, or at least knows a minority. I mean. He raps. He has Air Force One’s. This one time I saw him making greens and grits. I have no idea what exactly greens are, but, I’m pretty sure they speak for themselves… and for Jordan. Give the boy a chance. He might just sing you a song.
Hudson is the son of Greek god. Albeit, not one of those real tight gods like Zeus or Hephaestus, or the supremely stellar Ares. He’s the son of Hermes. So. That’s pretty much it. I think it’d be cool to have some one part-deity on the team. I don’t typically agree with metaphysically mixed marriages. But, this seems alright. And, Hud’s a pretty cool guy. So.
A Treatise on Justin Morgan
I have never liked Justin Morgan. I disagree with his existence.
I would like to say that I support Trenton and his shaved head. But. Should we lose a game. Even though I support him. There is a good chance that I will set him on fire.
Tim you’re my hero. Eat strong.
Posted by Bradley on 09/02 at 10:51 AM
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